Dear Katy Perry

I seem to have a lot of trouble getting consistent bloggage going on. The next thing I'm going to "attempt," or at least attempt to hold on to, is a series called "Dear...," where I'll writer a letter to someone or something. The first one is to Katy Perry.

Dear Katy Perry,

Damn girl. I mean damn girl. You have just tied Michael Jackson for the most #1 singles off of one album. And if I were Capitol Records, I would release one more. Because frankly, I listened to Teenage Dream on the way back to Philadelphia yesterday and I genuinely enjoyed every song except for the remixes on it and "E.T." I'm sorry, but I don't know how that got to number one. I think you surfed on Kanye's back a bit. That being said, besides "Firework," that music video is the best one off the album.

But I digress.

As I said, I totally think you should go for beating the record. As stated in this article from Billboard, records are meant to be broken. While I don't think you'll ever be a Michael Jackson, nor be quite as talented or original as Lady Gaga, Teenage Dream is the only album ever that I've enjoyed from start to finish. There is no way, given your rep and the sound of the album, that the next one wouldn't reach number one, as long as Capitol chose carefully.

It's a bit tricky because it's fall, which means fun, something everyone can dance to. The only "fun" one left, besides "Peacock" (which, let's be serious, won't get there because of its lyrics), is "Hummingbird Heartbeat." This is cool because it talks about sex in a butterflies sort of way, the excitement of it but also the teenage romance behind it. The downside is that it's a slightly more honed in, in-your-face version of the album's title.

"Pearl" is awesome, it seems like it has more of a winter sound. And feminists and women will love you everywhere, it sends a great message about empowerment. The same happens with "Circle the Drain," but its angrier tone may not fare too well with fans.

"Not Like The Movies" could be ok, but is kind of downright depressing. I don't think everyone is in to a ballad on the radio right now. Celine Dion stole that from everyone forever when she sang about a sinking boat. Damn it Celine!

If you're looking to ride off the "Last Friday Night" wave, go with the hummingbird. If you can wait a bit, go with the pearl. If you really wanna go for it, release one then the other. They're definitely different enough so that they could do well.

Here's how I see your album, and part of me wishes Capitol Records had released it this way. It's almost a journey. The first songs released, "California Gurls" and "Teenage Dream", were all about youth and having fun and all that stuff. Then "Firework" came out and was this big growth, all about self-esteem. Then "Last Friday Night" came out and was just another summer fun song, which was a step back. But, as I'm sure you're aware, the more powerful songs come towards the end. The ones that say "I'm angry about this," or "Be who you want to be" or "Life isn't like the movies" come mostly as a more mature sound. This album was a huge growth for you. Long ago are the days when you had to use gay as an negative adjective in "Ur so Gay" or gather attention by talking about how you kiss girls.

The album is a great piece of art (albeit heavily mainstream manufactured, and has so many messages that makes you grow from a Teenage Dream into an Adult Reality. As for releasing a sixth single, what have you got to lose? No risk, no reward. If it doesn't make it to number one, and even if people get tired of you, so what? Michael Jackson released a sixth and seventh, and while they didn't make it to the top, the man obviously went down as arguably the greatest artist in history.

Sincerely,
Matt

THE REVAMP: Rowling Trolling(?) with a side of country music and Mr. T.

So when I started, I really thought I was going to stay on top of this blogging thing like many of today's politicians stay on top of their affairs.

WRONG. But now that I have summer time, I'm trying to get into good habits. I figured this would be a good time and place to pick up.The question still remains...what the hell am I going to blog about? What's really going to be so interesting?

And so, at least for now, I'm going to blog about what YOU like. It's sort of like a retweet on Twitter, but I'm just going to choose one to go into detail from that day. I'm going to go down my newsfeed on facebook and see what my friends/colleagues/classmates/family/thattinygroupofpeoplewhoyoufeelobligatedtobefriendswithwhentheyrequestyou post for the day. The one I like the most/find most interesting will be the one I write about. I'll learn more about it, and so will you. I'll then also post two or three "runners up" that caught my eye as well.

So...drumroll please....the first blogpost of the Revamp goes to a post by my Michelle H. on Kelsey L.'s wall. (for privacy purposes, I am not including last names, just links to their facebook profiles. This may seem ironic, but obviously you will only be able to see their profile if you're friends with them, or if their privacy settings are open). Here is the link that she posted: http://www.youtube.com/JKRowlingAnnounces.

Whether you're a Potter fan like me or not, you cannot deny the inevitable awesomeness of this link. I'm not even talking about the content...we'll get to that in a second. I'm talking about the page itself. THIS SH*! is BANANAS. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. It's like...interactive. See for yourself, the owls shake their heads when you touch them (That's what she said?). Ok so it's not that crazy (my roommate sort of stared at me when I went batsh!t insane over the whole thing). I'm sure James Cameron, Steve Jobs, or John Lasseter are sitting in a booth somewhere in Hollywood, either making the owls shake or criticizing the fact that they're not 3D. Either way, it's something to give a hoot about.

Now, to the content. WHATTTT???? J.K. Rowling has a big announcement??? All I gotta say is

1) It better be living up to the hype and well worth the shaky owls.

2) If it's another Harry Potter book, it better be effin fantastic.

3) She better not be trolling. Pun intended.

4) It better be no JK. 

Sorry, that's not all I have to say. Redact number 2. This morning, the LA Times ran an article explaining that it will not be another book. However, it did give more insight than an article from last week, which simply acknowledged the presence of a mystery website.  That being said, in 2008 she said she was nearing completion of a "political fairy tale" for kids. Some think it may be the ultimate everything-there-is-to-know-about-the-world-of-Harry-Potter encyclopedia. Because the website has owls on the front of it, it's probably safe to assume it's Potter related, especially because its name is Pottermore. confirming that it is not a book, but gave further insight than

My prediction: It's the new encyclopedia. As cool as this will be, I'm kind of hoping it's something completely out of left field. (Although they've already thrown a theme park, a film franchise with a 2-part finale, Scene It, Monopoly, action figures and everything else our way. Frankly the only thing I would be completely thrown off and surprised by is a Harry Potter porno...and now I won't be because I thought of it. Damn. They probably already have it anyway).

What do you think it is? Feel free to take the poll >

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Runners up:

Dru C.'s status today: "Oh man, I'm starting to like country music. Hell has frozen over."

My response: Agreed! My country repertoire is  slowly going beyond Zac Brown Band. Some of you may hate me for posting this, I know it's not real country, but I love the effort anyway. I'm expanding more than that, I swear!

Kyle M.'s post on Drew M.'s wall: Ironic Sans Presents the Mr. T Playset.

My response: Probably the most fun I've had all week. It's like Barbie for men.

 

Buongiorno Roma!

Instead of starting a new blog in Rome, I decided to just continue this one. I may decide to make it more condensed and focused, but for now I'll just keep it like this: big, excited, and all over the place. And I'm not talking about un cazzo italiano...

...Mi spiace.

For those that don't know I'm taking a semester to study in Rome, Italy. We arrived two days ago. The room I have is tinier than David's member, and it "fits" three guys. Luckily, I know both of them.

So here's what I've learned thus far.

1. It's true, people really DO NOT CARE that you are walking in the street, and you WILL GET HIT by a vespa. Almost happened to myself and another girl.

2. Grazie: It's pronounced "Gratsee-ay" not "gratsee". The e on the end makes a huge difference and they'll know you're American from the start.

3. Italian men are gropey to young American women, and I had to be pretend to be the boyfriend more than once at a club last night.

4. In order to drink out of the fountains in the wall you have to plug the spout with your finger so it comes out the top. Don't splash yourself.

5. Italians see a group of loud American students, but if you say "buonasera" or "buongiorno" and smile, they will probably smile back once they realize you're not quite as ignorant as you look, just still loud and obnoxious. At least you're an educated loud obnoxious American.

6. Come va? = What's up.

7. EVERYONE eats clementines. You can get a kilogram of them for 99...cents? Whatever the "cents" equivalent is of the euro.

8. The Romans have obelisks (supposedly) because they believed Moses saw them while he was in Egypt. This brings them closer to Moses.

9. La Fontana dei Quattro Fiumi (Fountain of the Four Rivers) by Bernini, located in Piazza Navona, has a guy on it who is cowering in fear, afraid that the Sant'Agnese in Agone (A church) will fall. Bernini carved this in reaction to the church because Rainaldi, the architect, was apparently one of his archenemies. Nice.

10. They like Ke$ha too.

Buonasera!