Dear Katy Perry

I seem to have a lot of trouble getting consistent bloggage going on. The next thing I'm going to "attempt," or at least attempt to hold on to, is a series called "Dear...," where I'll writer a letter to someone or something. The first one is to Katy Perry.

Dear Katy Perry,

Damn girl. I mean damn girl. You have just tied Michael Jackson for the most #1 singles off of one album. And if I were Capitol Records, I would release one more. Because frankly, I listened to Teenage Dream on the way back to Philadelphia yesterday and I genuinely enjoyed every song except for the remixes on it and "E.T." I'm sorry, but I don't know how that got to number one. I think you surfed on Kanye's back a bit. That being said, besides "Firework," that music video is the best one off the album.

But I digress.

As I said, I totally think you should go for beating the record. As stated in this article from Billboard, records are meant to be broken. While I don't think you'll ever be a Michael Jackson, nor be quite as talented or original as Lady Gaga, Teenage Dream is the only album ever that I've enjoyed from start to finish. There is no way, given your rep and the sound of the album, that the next one wouldn't reach number one, as long as Capitol chose carefully.

It's a bit tricky because it's fall, which means fun, something everyone can dance to. The only "fun" one left, besides "Peacock" (which, let's be serious, won't get there because of its lyrics), is "Hummingbird Heartbeat." This is cool because it talks about sex in a butterflies sort of way, the excitement of it but also the teenage romance behind it. The downside is that it's a slightly more honed in, in-your-face version of the album's title.

"Pearl" is awesome, it seems like it has more of a winter sound. And feminists and women will love you everywhere, it sends a great message about empowerment. The same happens with "Circle the Drain," but its angrier tone may not fare too well with fans.

"Not Like The Movies" could be ok, but is kind of downright depressing. I don't think everyone is in to a ballad on the radio right now. Celine Dion stole that from everyone forever when she sang about a sinking boat. Damn it Celine!

If you're looking to ride off the "Last Friday Night" wave, go with the hummingbird. If you can wait a bit, go with the pearl. If you really wanna go for it, release one then the other. They're definitely different enough so that they could do well.

Here's how I see your album, and part of me wishes Capitol Records had released it this way. It's almost a journey. The first songs released, "California Gurls" and "Teenage Dream", were all about youth and having fun and all that stuff. Then "Firework" came out and was this big growth, all about self-esteem. Then "Last Friday Night" came out and was just another summer fun song, which was a step back. But, as I'm sure you're aware, the more powerful songs come towards the end. The ones that say "I'm angry about this," or "Be who you want to be" or "Life isn't like the movies" come mostly as a more mature sound. This album was a huge growth for you. Long ago are the days when you had to use gay as an negative adjective in "Ur so Gay" or gather attention by talking about how you kiss girls.

The album is a great piece of art (albeit heavily mainstream manufactured, and has so many messages that makes you grow from a Teenage Dream into an Adult Reality. As for releasing a sixth single, what have you got to lose? No risk, no reward. If it doesn't make it to number one, and even if people get tired of you, so what? Michael Jackson released a sixth and seventh, and while they didn't make it to the top, the man obviously went down as arguably the greatest artist in history.

Sincerely,
Matt

THE REVAMP: Rowling Trolling(?) with a side of country music and Mr. T.

So when I started, I really thought I was going to stay on top of this blogging thing like many of today's politicians stay on top of their affairs.

WRONG. But now that I have summer time, I'm trying to get into good habits. I figured this would be a good time and place to pick up.The question still remains...what the hell am I going to blog about? What's really going to be so interesting?

And so, at least for now, I'm going to blog about what YOU like. It's sort of like a retweet on Twitter, but I'm just going to choose one to go into detail from that day. I'm going to go down my newsfeed on facebook and see what my friends/colleagues/classmates/family/thattinygroupofpeoplewhoyoufeelobligatedtobefriendswithwhentheyrequestyou post for the day. The one I like the most/find most interesting will be the one I write about. I'll learn more about it, and so will you. I'll then also post two or three "runners up" that caught my eye as well.

So...drumroll please....the first blogpost of the Revamp goes to a post by my Michelle H. on Kelsey L.'s wall. (for privacy purposes, I am not including last names, just links to their facebook profiles. This may seem ironic, but obviously you will only be able to see their profile if you're friends with them, or if their privacy settings are open). Here is the link that she posted: http://www.youtube.com/JKRowlingAnnounces.

Whether you're a Potter fan like me or not, you cannot deny the inevitable awesomeness of this link. I'm not even talking about the content...we'll get to that in a second. I'm talking about the page itself. THIS SH*! is BANANAS. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. It's like...interactive. See for yourself, the owls shake their heads when you touch them (That's what she said?). Ok so it's not that crazy (my roommate sort of stared at me when I went batsh!t insane over the whole thing). I'm sure James Cameron, Steve Jobs, or John Lasseter are sitting in a booth somewhere in Hollywood, either making the owls shake or criticizing the fact that they're not 3D. Either way, it's something to give a hoot about.

Now, to the content. WHATTTT???? J.K. Rowling has a big announcement??? All I gotta say is

1) It better be living up to the hype and well worth the shaky owls.

2) If it's another Harry Potter book, it better be effin fantastic.

3) She better not be trolling. Pun intended.

4) It better be no JK. 

Sorry, that's not all I have to say. Redact number 2. This morning, the LA Times ran an article explaining that it will not be another book. However, it did give more insight than an article from last week, which simply acknowledged the presence of a mystery website.  That being said, in 2008 she said she was nearing completion of a "political fairy tale" for kids. Some think it may be the ultimate everything-there-is-to-know-about-the-world-of-Harry-Potter encyclopedia. Because the website has owls on the front of it, it's probably safe to assume it's Potter related, especially because its name is Pottermore. confirming that it is not a book, but gave further insight than

My prediction: It's the new encyclopedia. As cool as this will be, I'm kind of hoping it's something completely out of left field. (Although they've already thrown a theme park, a film franchise with a 2-part finale, Scene It, Monopoly, action figures and everything else our way. Frankly the only thing I would be completely thrown off and surprised by is a Harry Potter porno...and now I won't be because I thought of it. Damn. They probably already have it anyway).

What do you think it is? Feel free to take the poll >

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Runners up:

Dru C.'s status today: "Oh man, I'm starting to like country music. Hell has frozen over."

My response: Agreed! My country repertoire is  slowly going beyond Zac Brown Band. Some of you may hate me for posting this, I know it's not real country, but I love the effort anyway. I'm expanding more than that, I swear!

Kyle M.'s post on Drew M.'s wall: Ironic Sans Presents the Mr. T Playset.

My response: Probably the most fun I've had all week. It's like Barbie for men.

 

Buongiorno Roma!

Instead of starting a new blog in Rome, I decided to just continue this one. I may decide to make it more condensed and focused, but for now I'll just keep it like this: big, excited, and all over the place. And I'm not talking about un cazzo italiano...

...Mi spiace.

For those that don't know I'm taking a semester to study in Rome, Italy. We arrived two days ago. The room I have is tinier than David's member, and it "fits" three guys. Luckily, I know both of them.

So here's what I've learned thus far.

1. It's true, people really DO NOT CARE that you are walking in the street, and you WILL GET HIT by a vespa. Almost happened to myself and another girl.

2. Grazie: It's pronounced "Gratsee-ay" not "gratsee". The e on the end makes a huge difference and they'll know you're American from the start.

3. Italian men are gropey to young American women, and I had to be pretend to be the boyfriend more than once at a club last night.

4. In order to drink out of the fountains in the wall you have to plug the spout with your finger so it comes out the top. Don't splash yourself.

5. Italians see a group of loud American students, but if you say "buonasera" or "buongiorno" and smile, they will probably smile back once they realize you're not quite as ignorant as you look, just still loud and obnoxious. At least you're an educated loud obnoxious American.

6. Come va? = What's up.

7. EVERYONE eats clementines. You can get a kilogram of them for 99...cents? Whatever the "cents" equivalent is of the euro.

8. The Romans have obelisks (supposedly) because they believed Moses saw them while he was in Egypt. This brings them closer to Moses.

9. La Fontana dei Quattro Fiumi (Fountain of the Four Rivers) by Bernini, located in Piazza Navona, has a guy on it who is cowering in fear, afraid that the Sant'Agnese in Agone (A church) will fall. Bernini carved this in reaction to the church because Rainaldi, the architect, was apparently one of his archenemies. Nice.

10. They like Ke$ha too.

Buonasera!

Advice Pt. 1

I decided to do my own version of Baz Luhrman's "Sunscreen," and start to give advice based on things I've learned from others and from my own experiences. Almost every piece of advice is something I aspire to, but I have carried out very few successfully thus far.

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Stretch when you wake up every day. Lean forward, slowly. Imagine your head is a weight that is slowly being pulled down to the ground, allow your arms to dangle. Bend your knees a little, stay there. Sway your arms back and forth, feel the stretch in your back. Slowly rise up, imagine you’re leaving space in between each vertebra and you’re stacking one on top of another. Allow your neck to follow, and finally lift your head. Inhale. Exhale.

Leave ten minutes earlier than you normally would when you’re walking to a destination. Walk slowly and look around; take in and enjoy everything that is around you. You’ll notice something new on your walk every day.

Always arrive early. It is better to wait for someone than to have someone wait for you.

When you see a penny heads up on the street, pick it up. When you see a penny heads down on the street, turn it over for the next person.

Hold hands.

Give people options when you're planning something, especially if they're not planners and they have an "I don't care what we do" mentality. Instead of saying "what do you want to do?," come up with some ideas, and name a place and time. Simplicity is key in planning.

Put your iPod on Shuffle once in a while. You may find a new song that you really love, or an old one that you really missed.

Go back and visit your teachers. They do not stop teaching you.

Drive with the windows down. Once you go over a certain speed it will get more expensive and cause the car to drag. Pay the extra few bucks to let the warm breeze whip your face and make your hair dance.

Use Sunday as the day of rest. Or any day of the week. Take that day to relax, reflect, and to recharge. Otherwise, might pass you by way too quickly.

Drink lots of water.

Living in the moment is unrealistic, you will always be thinking about tomorrow, or what you could have done better yesterday. It’s ok to not live in the moment; just try not to obsess over what you cannot change, or what you cannot predict.

Using “like” in conversation is bad grammar, and will quickly annoy whoever you’re having a conversation with.

Go to a religious service because you want to, not because you have to.

Sing at the top of your lungs. Blast music so that your neighbors can hear it. Close your eyes and dance around the room. Then after all that, lay down, breathe the music in and let it fill you.

Hug.

Always give a firm handshake. It shows confidence and respect. It says “I am here, I have something to say or do, and I am genuinely interested in what you have to say or do.”

Take enough pictures so that you can savor the memories, but don’t take too many so that you miss out on what’s in front of your eyes at the present time.

Remember those who have helped you. Be there for them in return.

Always set your alarm for the time you want to wake up the next morning before you go to a party.

If you are uncomfortable with someone simply because they are different than you, have a conversation with them. Try to understand why you’re uncomfortable with them.

Take time to look at old photographs and scrapbooks.

Try taking a different route every time you venture somewhere, especially if you’re in a city with blocks. You will find some of the most interesting people and places that you will every experience.
Watch old Disney movies with your friends.

Do not text while you’re driving. If you make one mistake because you were looking down at your phone instead of at the road, the burden will hang on your head for a lifetime. All because of a text.

If you need to text while you’re having a face to face conversation with someone, say “excuse me.”

Call people if you want to say something, don’t text them. Cell phone texting is a technology that is allowing humans to distance themselves from one another. It also puts a delay in time and can cause huge unnecessary miscommunication. For God’s sake, pick up the phone.

Swim.

That whole “sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me” is bullshit sometimes. When you can, be the better person and walk away from the situation; don’t give your antagonist the attention they want. When you can’t, stick up for yourself and say something right back to put them in their place.

Introduce your friends to one another when it’s necessary; don’t just let them stand there. If your friend is like me, they will introduce themselves and you’ll feel like an idiot. If not, both friends will stand there awkwardly.

Life is not a movie. Life is not a movie. Life is not a movie. This is one of the hardest things I will ever have to learn, and I may never fully learn it.

Movies, books, art works, television shows, greeting cards, plays, and songs derive from life’s occurrences. Their content must therefore not be disregarded as nonsense and feeble attempts at perfection, but understood as a heightened sense of reality that allows humans to see reflections of themselves in characters and situations. These media act as common denominators and enable us to connect with one another, providing a forum for dialogue and commentary of society.

Smile, even if it’s a little white lie. You never know when it may brighten someone’s day.

Carry around a little notepad or sketchbook with you, wherever you go. Write, draw, create, imagine.

If you’re a freshman in college, or at a new job, and you have a physical door, keep it open. Some of the closest friends I have today were made because I left my door opened and they just wandered in.

Listen.

Sunscreen and Ferris Bueller

This is a song that has always been one of my favorites. I heard it for the first time today in a long time, and it just made me really happy. If you know someone that's having a bad day, send them the lyrics to this song. It's bound to cheer them up one way or another.



Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…




I also watched the Oscars tonight, and saw this clip from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Cliche, but so true...

The Day of Rest

I’m already sort of failing on my new year’s resolution. Surprise, surprise. This was to really use Sunday as a day of rest. I think that everyone should do this; religion aside. Everyone, in the world, should take one day out of their week to relax, and to reflect. That is why I write on Sundays. I write all the time, or at least I like to jot down notes in the moleskin book I carry around. But I take Sunday as the day to sleep in, relax, but most importantly reflect. And I reflect by writing. The majority of Western society moves at a ridiculously fast pace. We will our schedules up with work, exercise, school, extracurricular activities, social events. It’s go go go go go. But if we all took time to slow down and digest it all, once a week, it might make us realize how fast we’re going. It might allow us to ask ourselves why we feel the need to go so fast. The mind can only handle and process a certain amount of information at one time. If we take no time to reflect on a conversation or an experience we had that week or that day, it might get lost somewhere in the cracks. We worry so much about getting from place to place, or from one event to another, that we forget to enjoy the process of getting there, or the time in between.

For example, let’s say I have a class at 9:00 on Monday mornings. I set my alarm for 8:00, I wake up, then I set it for an additional 15 minutes. I then find myself running out the door and walking extremely fast-paced to my class. By the time I get there, I’m panting, my legs hurt, and I have two seconds to grab a coffee before I go upstairs. Because of instances like this, I find myself walking fast all the time. The solution: actually wake up at 8:00. I need to be much more conscious of setting my mind to leave 5-10 minutes earlier. During that walk, I’m way too focused on being on time, making it to the ATM or making time to get a coffee.

At the end of the day, after class it’s different. I turn on music and I walk home. Then I realize how fast I’m walking, and I walk slower. I try to be deliberate and almost painstakingly slow in my walk back; anyone who walks behind me probably thinks “what an asshole, walk faster.” But it’s incredible how much more I notice. Tonight I was walking home from a friend’s house, and I literally decided to stop and look at the baseball field across from my apartment. And I smelled the grass; it reminded me so much of home and playing soccer and just being outside. Moments like that really allow me to reflect and just have a moment in which I can remember so many happy moments I've had simply by being near grass.



People hate sitting in bumper to bumper traffic, and while they’re in that transition period from one place to another they worry so much about timing. Think about it this way; there’s absolutely no way to control it, it’s an inalienable truth. So why not enjoy it? Why not look around at the different people in the cars, or just look at all the trees outside your car window, or hear all the birds or feel the breeze as you roll the windows down and listen to your favorite song?
Sundays are like the car ride or the walk home. They’re a transition period. If you’re in college, Sunday is most likely a recovery day from a good weekend, but then it’s also a day to do all your homework and studying. We end up staying up late, and then having an awful start to the week because we were up so late. It’s a vicious cycle. They’re just another day to get through, just like a walk or a drive to get from point A to point B. Instead, what I’ve tried doing is getting my homework done during the week, and yes, even on Saturday morning or afternoon, so I can use Sunday to do this sort of thing. It’s going to be 55 degrees in Philadelphia tomorrow, and I know that I want to start being outside.



I’ve really only done this reflecting/relaxing thing on two Sundays out of the past 2 months, but I’m getting better. I suggest you try it. Who knows? It might help you have a better week and a better, healthier lifestyle in general.

Trojan's Slogans

Original post intended for The Cherry and What blog.

Warning: this is inappropriate. Enjoy!